Ever since I've been home I've been doing something with someone every day to try and get in as much time with my favorite group of people before I'm whisked away to the magic of east Texas (literally, there's a magic here people), and thus I haven't had much time to be still. I learn the most when I'm still. That's why, in sweet times right now, when I'm lying on my anthropologie comforter staring up at the familiar ceiling, I feel like everything hits me all at once. 

What decisions did I make this year? Were they the best for me? Have I learned something from every major decision and have the choices I've made shaped me into a better person than who I was before? I feel like it's been a year of soul searching and identity crisis. I did some things that were sorta dumb and realized what I do and do not want to do as a college student. I realize what I like and what I don't like, and what's gonna make me a better person and what's not. I'm a pretty smart girl.. I'm led by emotions half the time, but there's gotta be room for logic too, and I make that. 

I've gotten to the point where I can't stand arguing anymore. The only person I fight with is Jack and we haven't fought in two months probably. I used to be famous for it... but now whenever someone wants to fight, I'll just be quiet until they finish ranting and then try to move on or change subject. I haven't raised my voice in weeks. I left Megan's house last night because it was her first night in and immediately, due to stress and tired-ness, she suddenly felt the need to be angry with me. I asked her if she wanted help unpacking and if she didn't that I'd let her have her alone time. Medora was yelling at me the other day, and though the stubborn streak in me stays, I calmly held my own opinion until she left and she was able to be away from the moment before calming down and coming back to talk with me. I just... don't do fighting anymore. I'm not sure if this is a good or bad thing yet. Time will tell. Though I know my now intolerant-towards-conflict nature may hurt me eventually.

I miss Elon a lot and the life I had gotten comfortable with there, but I also haven't wanted to go back since I've been home. I absolutely love Plano, as much as anyone else can argue that they hate it. I just miss Alaina and Bhriel a lot and they crazy things we do together... and of course, I miss Jack a lot and the every day we spent together.

Thankfully, he'll be here in a little over two days, and we'll be together all summer again. 

In other news... I am now the owner of the most beautiful Nikon D40 in the world...

..and the not-owner of a packed room ready for camp. Tonight's practically my last night to pack. Damn my laziness. 

Camp Huawni begins in less than four days for me now, and I don't think I've ever been more excited for anything in the whole wide world. I'm ready to see my new CIT loves, and my little brother Pricey, and my best friend Matty, and my BFFLED, and my other loves like Mat and Ross and Conrad and all the campers and a whole bunch of other people that I can't even name because if I say everyone's names I'm gonna get jittery.  I need to go pack...

scratch that I need sleep.

c.